Today we decided to adopt Rodda. We have prayed hard and tried to listen as intently to God's leading as possible, but as much as we want to adopt both Ola and Rodda, we can only get one girl and today we have chosen Rodda. Please pray for Ola. Every time I see both Rodda and Ola I just want to grab them up and pour love and affection into their lives. Ola is more openly desperate for a family. Where Rodda is like so many long time orpans, quietly despearate for the love of her own family, Ola is passionate and insistent. We like the other families are now on a mission to get Ola a family. For any of you contemplating adoption, this beautiful little 12 year old girl would be fantastic. If you want more information please email to either Cari or me and we'll fill you in. Sadly, Ola and Rodda's story is just a snapshot of what is happening for all the Ukraine orphans. A precious few get adopted and the rest are left behing feeling new rejection, and the gnawing grinding pain of not belonging. Families who come to adopt see the many who they cannot bring home like Ola and some decide to take action. Karol Saner did that for Inna. Because Karol decided NOT forget about Inna even after a few years she is now about to get erased from the orphan roster. We plan to go Karol Saner on the Ola situation. You can bet will get Babushka Karol on the Ola bandwagon.
I could go on and on about the wonderful deserving children who are not getting adopted here at Yuglegorsck, but you all get the picture. As Laura Passanita likes to say not everyone is called to adopt but everyone is called to help orphans. In John we are reminded that, "true religion is this... help widows and orphans in their time of distress." In this past week we have peered into the faces of such distress and feel the heart of God who calls us to do something. Enough of the sermon... sorry.
Today we were hopeful to go back to Kiev for our second appointment in order to adopt Rodda, but now it seems that it will be wednesday. Our very dear and wonderful Ukrainian sister Ira from Sevastopal is going to arrive wednesday morning. Inna, Cari and I are all excited to see her. Ira has been CRUCIAL to bringing Inna home from the very beginning of our July hosting visit with Inna. The first sunday that Ira was in the US she and her friend Avie (a missionary who works and lives in Sevastopal) just happened to accidentally come to the second of three services at our home church Grace Bible Church where we with Inna just accidentally happened to be attending. It was a very low point for Inna where she had decided not to be adopted in fear of coming to the US and becoming very closed to us spending most of the time in her room. Suddenly God depolyed Ira (who had prayed to be used on her trip) to help in translating and more that that speaking wisdom into the life of this wonderful young lady Inna Denya. I cannot stress how crucially important Ira's role in Inna's final decision to become Inna Grace Lance and come to the United States was and still is. Ira took time from her vacation to minister to Inna and us, and now in just a few days she will come to the place where it all began for Inna. I wonder if God has a bigger role for Ira in orphan ministry? Pray for Ira's travel safety and pray that she will be used by God not only in working with us but most likely the other families and the many orphans we all interact with at Yuglegorsck.
Today we spent a very wonderful time together at the orphanage. Once we arrived for our usual 3pm vistation time all the other kids arrived but not Inna. We waited and waited and then finally came Inna with... Rodda. Unknow to us, Inna had circumvented the usual orphanage procedure to get Rodda from her mandatory nap so she could be with us. Until the official referral from the SDA, prospective adoptive parents are not allowed to see the children like this. Big sister came through!! It was great. We played games together and practiced learning english words. Wow, Rodda was catching on very quickly. She has such a beautiful happy spirit. We can't wait for all of you to meet her. Meanwhile, Inna, Cari and Anya our translator were hatching plans for how we can help Luda. Inna is such a generous and gracious young lady... I am so proud of her.
Tommrow we travel to Kiev.... we hope. Cari is breathing much better today (it rained all day today).
Blessings,
Ray
Monday, October 10, 2011
Sunday, October 9, 2011
The House of Good News!
We enjoyed attending church with one of the New York couples David and Ingrid. We made a joyful noise singing Blessed Assurance in a different tongue with all those Ukrainian voices. That was the only song we knew. They do love to sing. About ten different groups of people took a turn singing a song with a different person playing piano each time. We shared tea and cookies afterward visiting a little with some of the folks.
We went to the orphanage earlier today as the kids have a free day on Sunday. They have classes and chores six days a week. They get to shower on Tuesday. They wash their own extra set of clothing by hand in a wash tub and wring them outside with a friend and hang them out to dry. Hmmmm. Gives new meaning to hand wash, eh?
We played outside today with the kids. They say it will be the last warm day so everyone was eager to soak up the lingering rays of sun. We got to meet Inna's best friend Luda who was here to visit from her trade school where she is learning to be a painter. That would have been Inna's trade, too. She is thin as a rail, even more so than most of the kids here as she has been finding her own food now that she is on her own at 17 with essentially no skills. I'm glad we were able to spend time with her and feed her some extra snacks we brought. All too soon we had to pack up in the van and head back for dinner and to the hotel. It is hard to fill your own stomach thinking about the meager meals they get. 10 chickens for the month to feed 120 kids...
Tomorrow Viktor is expecting us to give him a name of the girl we want to pursue for our second daughter. We don't feel we can adequately make that decision. Praying God will make it for us in his unmistakable way. Cherishing your prayers.
Didn't understand a lot of what was said in the church meeting today, just a few words here and there, but one word I heard over and over in various forms was blagadarna, which means some form of thankfulness. I truly am considering how thankful is my heart? How am I demonstrating it? I am counting the ways he blesses.
Until next time,
Love in him,
Cari
We went to the orphanage earlier today as the kids have a free day on Sunday. They have classes and chores six days a week. They get to shower on Tuesday. They wash their own extra set of clothing by hand in a wash tub and wring them outside with a friend and hang them out to dry. Hmmmm. Gives new meaning to hand wash, eh?
We played outside today with the kids. They say it will be the last warm day so everyone was eager to soak up the lingering rays of sun. We got to meet Inna's best friend Luda who was here to visit from her trade school where she is learning to be a painter. That would have been Inna's trade, too. She is thin as a rail, even more so than most of the kids here as she has been finding her own food now that she is on her own at 17 with essentially no skills. I'm glad we were able to spend time with her and feed her some extra snacks we brought. All too soon we had to pack up in the van and head back for dinner and to the hotel. It is hard to fill your own stomach thinking about the meager meals they get. 10 chickens for the month to feed 120 kids...
Tomorrow Viktor is expecting us to give him a name of the girl we want to pursue for our second daughter. We don't feel we can adequately make that decision. Praying God will make it for us in his unmistakable way. Cherishing your prayers.
Didn't understand a lot of what was said in the church meeting today, just a few words here and there, but one word I heard over and over in various forms was blagadarna, which means some form of thankfulness. I truly am considering how thankful is my heart? How am I demonstrating it? I am counting the ways he blesses.
Until next time,
Love in him,
Cari
Saturday, October 8, 2011
reality and the call
Tonight Cari and I were again reminded that working with orphans is both beautiful and exhausting at the same time, as so many others can testify. The damage done to children who are abandoned and do not get the care only a family can provide is extensive and requires massive energy and patience to overcome. We were given the "briefing" from the social worker, psychologist and the orphanage director on the girls we are looking at to become Inna's and the boys sister. I will not use the specific names to protect the girls privacy. To say the least these briefings tell a story of deep heartache, rejection, neglect and above all the message, "you don't matter to anyone." One of the girls was adopted by a Ukrainian family when she was 4 along with her brother only to be "returned" to the orphanage because she was too much trouble at age 8. The briefers told us that this girl was difficult at first but has made great progress here at Yuglegorsck and has steadfastly asked again and again asked for a family in order to be adopted. The second girl has been continuously in the orphanage system since one year of age and due to "learning failure," she was sent from one orphanage here to Yuglegorsck (for the mentally delayed). Her teacher progress reports state that she cannot read well or comprehend and struggles with penmanship despite otherwise seeming to be bright. As parents of two kids with dyslexia we immediately recognized that this girl has dyslexia that has not and will likely never get the therapy to adapt and succeed here in Ukraine. She is very sweet and beams with happiness. Who do we choose and how can we make such a choice? We continue to pray literally on our knees about this decision. We thought that today was the day we would need to provide the answer but we have one more day. Not that one more day will make this decision anymore easy. One of the girls has a 15 year old brother and we are not allowed to adopt him also, thus will require extra time to release her for adoption.
Ola or Rodda? In God's hands. We so look forward to our 3 hours to be with our kids each day. Today at the orphanage we had some fun looking at Inna's pictures and playing a game of charades. I was able to spend some time with Rodda and really connected. She is such a pretty little lady with very long hair and a great smile. Meanwhile Cari spent a little time with Ola and gave her a fresh pair of new socks. My first interaction with her was helping her to weave a friendship bracelet and looking down I noticed her little toes sticking out through huge holes in her socks. Socks went on the shopping list for Ola.
After returning to our hotel, we both felt overwhelmed with the job ahead of taking two girls back to the USA with little to no English language skills and educated them, parent them and above all love them while at the same time tending to our wonderful sons Garrett and Jake. We feel inadequate but take comfort knowing that whatever trouble or difficulties and challenges will arise, these kids are worth it every bit of it. When Cari and I come to the final moments of our lives we will never regret the price paid to parent orphans. We choose to take the pain with the joy. We choose to take the road less travelled and will be all the happier for it.
Tommorrow we will go to church in Enakievo and hopefully back to Kiev on monday for our second referral. Continue to pray for us in this decision and for God's guidance. Above all pray for both Ola and Rodda, who are 12 year old girls who deserve a loving family. If our paperwork allowed it we would be adopting both Rodda and Ola along with big sister Inna, but alas this is not the case so the choice must be made.
Cari is struggling tonight with asthma from wind and smog and extensive open air trash burning going on all around Enakievo. Keep her in your thoughts and prayers.
Ray
Ola or Rodda? In God's hands. We so look forward to our 3 hours to be with our kids each day. Today at the orphanage we had some fun looking at Inna's pictures and playing a game of charades. I was able to spend some time with Rodda and really connected. She is such a pretty little lady with very long hair and a great smile. Meanwhile Cari spent a little time with Ola and gave her a fresh pair of new socks. My first interaction with her was helping her to weave a friendship bracelet and looking down I noticed her little toes sticking out through huge holes in her socks. Socks went on the shopping list for Ola.
After returning to our hotel, we both felt overwhelmed with the job ahead of taking two girls back to the USA with little to no English language skills and educated them, parent them and above all love them while at the same time tending to our wonderful sons Garrett and Jake. We feel inadequate but take comfort knowing that whatever trouble or difficulties and challenges will arise, these kids are worth it every bit of it. When Cari and I come to the final moments of our lives we will never regret the price paid to parent orphans. We choose to take the pain with the joy. We choose to take the road less travelled and will be all the happier for it.
Tommorrow we will go to church in Enakievo and hopefully back to Kiev on monday for our second referral. Continue to pray for us in this decision and for God's guidance. Above all pray for both Ola and Rodda, who are 12 year old girls who deserve a loving family. If our paperwork allowed it we would be adopting both Rodda and Ola along with big sister Inna, but alas this is not the case so the choice must be made.
Cari is struggling tonight with asthma from wind and smog and extensive open air trash burning going on all around Enakievo. Keep her in your thoughts and prayers.
Ray
Friday, October 7, 2011
Wrestling
Today was marked by a back and forth struggle to decide between two wonderful little girls to become Inna, Garrett and Jake's sister each of whom equally worthy and in need of a family. I cannot put into words how hard it is to decide who not to choose. All the families here with us say the same thing: how can we adopt more of these kids. Each day when we go to the orphanage and we look into the eyes and the earnest faces of hope. There are many moments spent swallowing hard on that big lump in your throat so the tears are not obvious. Big guys aren't supposed cry after all. This big guy is using up a lot of kleenex let me assure you. You CANNOT come to Yglegorsck and not return changed and convicted of the need to do whatever you can to aid the plight of orphans.
I pulled out an "American Football," pumped it up and started showing a few of the boys how to throw a spiral. Before long everyone was have a go at it. One young man has taken a special liking to me. He is a tall 15 year old boy with a big heart. He just wants a dad like everyone else, but unfortunately very few 15 year olds of either sex EVER get adopted. In fact according to the adoption stats from the SDA only 0.2% of 15 year olds get adopted.
Our Inna is one of the 0.2% group thanks to God using many people along the way for that. She chose Grace for her middle name and it is fitting. God called Inna by name out of the orphan world and graciously placed her in our home. Grace fits her in so many ways. She is a beautiful young woman who is funny and intelligent and even in the midst of orphan trappings carries herself with distinct grace. And by God's Grace Inna Grace Lance will be an orphan no more.
Despite Inna's story, spending time with Sasha and a wonderful beautiful new born again believer named Oksana who have little hope for adoption personify the plight of the "old ones" in Ukraine orphanages. Please pray for them. As Sasha and I played together I saw the little boy grin come out that I see when playing with my own boys Garrett and Jake. He just wants a Dad.
I along with the other Dads in the adoption contingent get mobbed by lots of little boys and your heart aches for their need. Boys need dads and dads need their heavenly father for guidance. Pray for all of the orphans of Yglegorsck but tonight say an extra prayers for the forgotton boys also.
Tomorrow is decision day for us. Pray for us.
I pulled out an "American Football," pumped it up and started showing a few of the boys how to throw a spiral. Before long everyone was have a go at it. One young man has taken a special liking to me. He is a tall 15 year old boy with a big heart. He just wants a dad like everyone else, but unfortunately very few 15 year olds of either sex EVER get adopted. In fact according to the adoption stats from the SDA only 0.2% of 15 year olds get adopted.
Our Inna is one of the 0.2% group thanks to God using many people along the way for that. She chose Grace for her middle name and it is fitting. God called Inna by name out of the orphan world and graciously placed her in our home. Grace fits her in so many ways. She is a beautiful young woman who is funny and intelligent and even in the midst of orphan trappings carries herself with distinct grace. And by God's Grace Inna Grace Lance will be an orphan no more.
Despite Inna's story, spending time with Sasha and a wonderful beautiful new born again believer named Oksana who have little hope for adoption personify the plight of the "old ones" in Ukraine orphanages. Please pray for them. As Sasha and I played together I saw the little boy grin come out that I see when playing with my own boys Garrett and Jake. He just wants a Dad.
I along with the other Dads in the adoption contingent get mobbed by lots of little boys and your heart aches for their need. Boys need dads and dads need their heavenly father for guidance. Pray for all of the orphans of Yglegorsck but tonight say an extra prayers for the forgotton boys also.
Tomorrow is decision day for us. Pray for us.
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Trains and Taxis to Yuglegorsk
We boarded the train in Kiev 7 pm tues. evening and arrived wed morning in Donetsk about 7 am. A driver picked us up at the train station and drove us straight to Enakieva where we met with Galena who is responsible for the orphans in this region and her inspector. They viewed our photo album and asked us questions regarding why we want to adopt from the Ukraine, etc. Next, they sent us down the road to the notary who said they were not working today, but come back tomorrow and our papers would be ready to sign. So we jumped back in the car and drove down up the street. The next place we hopped out of the car Viktor said|" Here we are, the orphanage". What? No shower, no breakfast. Well Karol, you did warn us.... So we met with the social worker Larissa who showed us Inna's file and talked about her history. Then we were introduced to the Director who asked us more questions about why we want to adopt Inna, which we answered and then the door opened and in came Inna, smiling, laughing, looking great. After a brief visit, the director asked Inna if she wanted us to adopt her, to which she said, "Da, horosho," which means yes, very good. Inna took us on a tour of her side of the orphanage, introducing us to friends, taking photos, and getting photographed. Wow! A surreal experience only accentuated by a mind hazy from the brief few winks of sleep between Kiev and Donetsk.
After about half an hour with Inna, we left, got lunch, checked into our hotel, showered and were ready to join the three other couples who are here for three to six o clock visits of the children we are all adopting. It has been great to hear their experiences and share games and fun with the kids together. Holly and Bob are from New York along with her brother David and his wife Ingrid. Jack and Laura are from Indiana and I think the last couple is also from New York and friends of the first two couples.
Today, thursday, we signed official petition papers at the notary to adopt Inna. Then Viktor called us back to the orphanage to learn about two other girls, age twelve to observe and consider for a second daughter. It is surely overwhelming so much information to process and so many children with no family. We are praying for God's clear direction, ears to hear, ability to follow and to slam the door shut where he does not want us to go. We met Olga, Ruda and Oksana today during play time with the other children after asking Inna what she thought about having a sister. We had already talked to the boys about this possibility earlier. The next few days we will continue with the other couples to visit with our children being joined by one more couple before our time here is finished. If we adopt one more girl we will have to submit the request in Kiev in person tuesday or wednesday and wait a few more days to hear when our day in court will be.
Thanks for continuing to lift us up in prayer. We appreciate you so much. As Ray and I talked about the pain and plight of so many children last night, we identified with something I read in Ann Voskamp's book 1000 Gifts. If we had written their story maybe we'd have written it differently, but we have to trust that God is writing their story. He is good and he loves these children. He is listening to them. He is answering their prayers one(or two...)at a time. We are trying to listen to what he is saying to us and to follow.
Love in Him,
Cari
After about half an hour with Inna, we left, got lunch, checked into our hotel, showered and were ready to join the three other couples who are here for three to six o clock visits of the children we are all adopting. It has been great to hear their experiences and share games and fun with the kids together. Holly and Bob are from New York along with her brother David and his wife Ingrid. Jack and Laura are from Indiana and I think the last couple is also from New York and friends of the first two couples.
Today, thursday, we signed official petition papers at the notary to adopt Inna. Then Viktor called us back to the orphanage to learn about two other girls, age twelve to observe and consider for a second daughter. It is surely overwhelming so much information to process and so many children with no family. We are praying for God's clear direction, ears to hear, ability to follow and to slam the door shut where he does not want us to go. We met Olga, Ruda and Oksana today during play time with the other children after asking Inna what she thought about having a sister. We had already talked to the boys about this possibility earlier. The next few days we will continue with the other couples to visit with our children being joined by one more couple before our time here is finished. If we adopt one more girl we will have to submit the request in Kiev in person tuesday or wednesday and wait a few more days to hear when our day in court will be.
Thanks for continuing to lift us up in prayer. We appreciate you so much. As Ray and I talked about the pain and plight of so many children last night, we identified with something I read in Ann Voskamp's book 1000 Gifts. If we had written their story maybe we'd have written it differently, but we have to trust that God is writing their story. He is good and he loves these children. He is listening to them. He is answering their prayers one(or two...)at a time. We are trying to listen to what he is saying to us and to follow.
Love in Him,
Cari
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
We have official permission to meet Inna and proceed with adoption
We wandered around Kiev yesterday on our own after going with Viktor to the SDA. The SDA oversees adoptions and must give permission to visit Inna and do paperwork in Enakieva to complete the adoption. We found the bus to go back up to Pecher'sk to see the catacombs at Lavra, the site considered most holy to Orthodox Eastern Europe. Very interesting and beautiful. We also saw a photography exhibit of communities across Ukraine.
It is cool here, sweater weather. The city of 4 million officially, 7 million unofficially, is set on beautiful rolling hills with the Dnipro River cutting the city, actually the entire country virtually in half. It is an ancient city believed to have been established around 500 by three brothers.
Tonight at 7 pm we board an overnight train to go 12 hours southeast to Donetsk. This is the closest station to the town of Enakieva where Yuglegorsk Orphanage is situated. Wednesday we will spend the day driving all over filling out papers. Thursday we should be able to start spending time with Inna. It is strange to be 7 hours ahead of you who are on eastern standard time. Love and miss you. Keeping you in our prayers.
Cari
It is cool here, sweater weather. The city of 4 million officially, 7 million unofficially, is set on beautiful rolling hills with the Dnipro River cutting the city, actually the entire country virtually in half. It is an ancient city believed to have been established around 500 by three brothers.
Tonight at 7 pm we board an overnight train to go 12 hours southeast to Donetsk. This is the closest station to the town of Enakieva where Yuglegorsk Orphanage is situated. Wednesday we will spend the day driving all over filling out papers. Thursday we should be able to start spending time with Inna. It is strange to be 7 hours ahead of you who are on eastern standard time. Love and miss you. Keeping you in our prayers.
Cari
Sunday, October 2, 2011
We have arrived in Ukraine
Albeit a bit jet lagged, we are happy and enjoying Kiev. Our apt is located close to Independence square in downtown Kiev and is very nice. Viktor, our adoption facilitator met us at the airport on saturday afternoon, and today he and his 6 year old son Anton acted as tour guides. We visited the St. Sophia cathedral built around 1015, St Michaels and the monastery of the caves. We traveled on the metro which is very nice. We were able to call Inna and tell her that momma and poppa are in Ukraine and looking so forward to coming to Yuglegorsk and bring her home. She is very bored at the orphanage and ready for the adventure to start. Soon the title orphan will NEVERMORE apply to her! We are praying about a second girl. We came to Ukraine with only Inna in mind, but God may have other plans for us. We pray for His will to govern this process. We love Ukraine. We love orphans. Tomorrow (Monday)we have our appointment at the SDA ( adoption ministry) at 9 am to get our formal permission to go to Yuglegorsk to see Inna and arrange the court date for her adoption in Enakievo.
Ray
Ray
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