Tonight Cari and I were again reminded that working with orphans is both beautiful and exhausting at the same time, as so many others can testify. The damage done to children who are abandoned and do not get the care only a family can provide is extensive and requires massive energy and patience to overcome. We were given the "briefing" from the social worker, psychologist and the orphanage director on the girls we are looking at to become Inna's and the boys sister. I will not use the specific names to protect the girls privacy. To say the least these briefings tell a story of deep heartache, rejection, neglect and above all the message, "you don't matter to anyone." One of the girls was adopted by a Ukrainian family when she was 4 along with her brother only to be "returned" to the orphanage because she was too much trouble at age 8. The briefers told us that this girl was difficult at first but has made great progress here at Yuglegorsck and has steadfastly asked again and again asked for a family in order to be adopted. The second girl has been continuously in the orphanage system since one year of age and due to "learning failure," she was sent from one orphanage here to Yuglegorsck (for the mentally delayed). Her teacher progress reports state that she cannot read well or comprehend and struggles with penmanship despite otherwise seeming to be bright. As parents of two kids with dyslexia we immediately recognized that this girl has dyslexia that has not and will likely never get the therapy to adapt and succeed here in Ukraine. She is very sweet and beams with happiness. Who do we choose and how can we make such a choice? We continue to pray literally on our knees about this decision. We thought that today was the day we would need to provide the answer but we have one more day. Not that one more day will make this decision anymore easy. One of the girls has a 15 year old brother and we are not allowed to adopt him also, thus will require extra time to release her for adoption.
Ola or Rodda? In God's hands. We so look forward to our 3 hours to be with our kids each day. Today at the orphanage we had some fun looking at Inna's pictures and playing a game of charades. I was able to spend some time with Rodda and really connected. She is such a pretty little lady with very long hair and a great smile. Meanwhile Cari spent a little time with Ola and gave her a fresh pair of new socks. My first interaction with her was helping her to weave a friendship bracelet and looking down I noticed her little toes sticking out through huge holes in her socks. Socks went on the shopping list for Ola.
After returning to our hotel, we both felt overwhelmed with the job ahead of taking two girls back to the USA with little to no English language skills and educated them, parent them and above all love them while at the same time tending to our wonderful sons Garrett and Jake. We feel inadequate but take comfort knowing that whatever trouble or difficulties and challenges will arise, these kids are worth it every bit of it. When Cari and I come to the final moments of our lives we will never regret the price paid to parent orphans. We choose to take the pain with the joy. We choose to take the road less travelled and will be all the happier for it.
Tommorrow we will go to church in Enakievo and hopefully back to Kiev on monday for our second referral. Continue to pray for us in this decision and for God's guidance. Above all pray for both Ola and Rodda, who are 12 year old girls who deserve a loving family. If our paperwork allowed it we would be adopting both Rodda and Ola along with big sister Inna, but alas this is not the case so the choice must be made.
Cari is struggling tonight with asthma from wind and smog and extensive open air trash burning going on all around Enakievo. Keep her in your thoughts and prayers.
Ray
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